How Being LGBTQIA+ Can Positively Impact Your Mindset During The Menopause Journey

Power of positivity

Individuals in LGBTQIA+ relationships sometimes report positive menopausal experiences at a greater rate than their cisgender, heterosexual counterparts. 

One such example is better sex. As estrogen levels decline, many women+ experience vaginal dryness or dips in libido that can make sex less pleasurable or cause the other person to feel insecure about their body and physical attractiveness. But data shows that lesbian, bisexual, and pansexual perimenopausal and postmenopausal women report being sexually active more often than heterosexual women. That’s usually a win for relationship satisfaction.

No matter your life stage, how you feel about yourself and your circumstances impacts your relationships. In particular, high self-esteem in those with whom you interact and live has been shown to contribute strongly to relationship satisfaction. During menopause, that self-esteem and your overall mindset can have a profound impact on your journey. There is power in positivity. It can lead to fewer overall symptoms. 

Better sex and less vaginal pain

Why the difference? For starters, LGBTQIA+ women report better sexual function. This includes less pain and vaginal dryness during sexual activity.

While mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety are common during the menopause journey and are associated with lower sexual function among cisgender, heterosexual women, that connection doesn’t appear for lesbian, bisexual, and pansexual women.

Positive body image

A more positive body image during menopause may be another reason for these differences. For everyone, the body will change as we age. But with less rigid perspectives around what they “should” look like, LGBTQIA+ individuals may be better equipped to embrace changing physiques and accept pleasure and intimacy from their partners without the baggage of society’s definition of what sexy is.

Lesbian women tend to have less severe symptoms and fewer issues with sexual well-being during the menopause journey than cis heterosexuals. 

Living their own beauty

Some people may find joy in looking in a way that is aligned with certain narrowly defined beauty standards and marketing messages. Or having children, whether biological children they physically carry during pregnancy or children they foster or adopt. Or they try to stay (physically) forever young.

For example, physical attraction and fertility are commonly associated with “femininity” in many countries. Especially in Western cultures, beauty is also closely linked to youth.

However, none of that is what makes a person all of who they are (or even who they might actually want to be). They are choices.

And, as the saying goes, beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder and goes far beyond physical appearance. It looks different to different people and one’s own idea of beauty, as it may also be defined very differently as well. 

Often, LGBTQIA+ individuals have defied societal expectations relative to gender identity and sexual orientation well before they embark on the menopause journey, even when it is premature (onset prior to age 40) or early (onset prior to age 45 but after age 40). Therefore, when this transition arrives, they may be more confident and feel more comfortable in their own skin than cisgender, heterosexual women, regardless of whether or not they fit with “traditional” or often stereotypical ideals and definitions of beauty in the U.S.

Additionally, many people associate strength, empathy, intuition, and wisdom with being “beautiful”—and these traits and ways of being often grow stronger as a person ages.

Whether or not you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, everyone entering this stage of life can embrace all of who they are, which is much greater than what could ever fit inside a societal box or stereotype.

Speaking up and out

Many women+ suffer in silence through challenging menopause symptoms.

They’re afraid to speak up, especially at work, for fear of what someone may think about their brain fog, hot flashes, or age.

LGBTQIA+ individuals often have to speak out and advocate for themselves more frequently than many others, due to many of society’s attitudes, stereotypes, ignorance, and discrimination. So, there may be greater experience and confidence in stepping forward to enact powerful and effective change.

And because their perspective may be more neutral or positive, the negative menopause narrative, which has historically been prevalent, may be more likely to evolve and to do so in a more sustainable way for everyone.

Additionally, with several celebrities now on the journey and talking about their experiences and Millenials, Gen Z, and Boomers increasingly unwilling to suffer in silence, menopause is having a moment in the spotlight, (including articles even in the Wall Street Journal!). It’s becoming more common for some progressive employers to even offer menopause-related benefits, and in the UK employers can become accredited as menopause-friendly workplaces.